Laugh!:)...

     
                          LIFE........................................LIFE...................................LIFE.................hE'hE'hE'
With A Party Going On In The Apartment Above His,My Friend Could Forget About Getting Any Sleep.
The Next Day,He Spotted The Offending Party Giver....Didn't You Hear Me Pounding On The Ceiling?'' 
He Asked.
The Woman Smiled Pleasantly. "That's OK. We Were Making A lot Of Noise Ourselves."

                       

MY HEART

 

Laugh!:)

      A  man arrived at his workplace with both ears bandaged. " what happened?" asked the boss?"

I was ironing my shirt when the telephone rang and i accidentally answered the iron," the man explained.

That accounts for one ear, but what about that other?" "Well, after the accident i had to phone the doctor."

Laugh!:)

              Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to heaven,where they're met by Saint Peter."In order to get in,"he tells them,"you must each produce something representative of the holiday." The first man digs into his pockets and pulls out a match and lights it."This represents a candle of hope."Impressed,Peter lets him in. The second man pulls out a tangle of keys and shakes them."These are bells."He's allowed in too.

"So," Peter says to the third man,"what do you have?"The third man proudly shows him a pair of red panties."What do those have to do with Christmas?" asks Peter."they're Carol's...........

            

              A man is on trail for armed robbery.The jury comes back with the verdict. The foreman stands,clears his throat,and announces,"Not guilty." The defendant leaps to his feet."Awesome!"he shouts."Does that mean I get to keep the money?"

 I've never understood the concept of the gift certificate,because for the same 50bucks.Adam bit the apple and,feeling great shame,covered himself with a fig leaf.Eve,too,felt shame and covered herself with a fig leaf.Then she went behind the bush to try on a maple leaf,a sycamore, and an oak............

             

              Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels- the town hall, the hardware store,and the church.The town hall brought in some cats.but after they tore up all files,the mayor got rid of the cats,and soon the squirrels were back.

              The hardware store humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free outside town.Three days later,the squirrels climbed back in.

              Only the church came up with an effective solution.they baptised the squirrels and made them members.Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.........he'...he...'he......